There are two types of conversation you might have. The first is when you just come across someone in the street and have a little chat. The second is a proper face to face conversation with someone you might want to sit with, a friend say. There aren’t many people you really want to talk to over a beer or two for an hour or two. Mostly, the two minute street chat works better. Superficiality tends to trump depth. The problem with a big conversation is that you have to get the right balance of listening and speaking. Mostly these days, I listen. I have nothing to sell. Why should I be mouthing? Maybe if you listen you might learn something. Maybe you just hear someone showing off or subtly adjusting the output to humble brag intensity. Then there are the topics of the day; the politics; the culture. Best to leave them alone, but some people can’t resist fingering the wounds. I suppose if you know the person very well there is no need to brag. Or now and again you get a worthwhile conversationalist who isn’t trying to do anything special, just follow the lines of the chat. This is rare, especially if you do not know them well, as when that is the case, they tend to need to assert their identity, which is tiresome. Identity should come out gradiually and incidentally, not in a splurge. Yes, I tend to say less and less in the second category of conversation, the in-depth conversation, which is making me into a bit of a dullard. But I think that might be a best option.

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