June 29: visceral repulsion

I am an indifferent kind of person mostly. My reactions are not visceral. I am pretty old, so I wait for evidence before concluding. And then my conclusions are always inconclusive, amendable at all times. Education and enlightenment have taught me so much and I am grateful to them. And yet, there are people who evince from me a visceral repulsion. It does not happen often but I can think of two or three occasions where it has happened. The question I ask myself is whether this is a kind of reaction based on specific but sub-conscious material or whether it is purely pheremonal, an animal phenomenon. If I break down the information about a specific person: brusque; bad-mannered; a shambling walker; talks too much. Is this enough for me to turn away when they speak, to glaze over with distaste. After all, I know and like lots of people who display more unlikeable traits than this fairly harmless selection. Am I responding to some occult racism or sectarianism in myself? Or is it just some secret odour that seeps out of the person that my body cannot tolerate. Who knows? Just can’t bear their presence. Will keep out of their way as best I can.

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