March 9: hat man grabs oscar

I am disappointed in Mark Rylance. He has let us all down. Mark Rylance likes to wear his hat indoors, even at Oscar ceremonies. It is normally a trilby. This doesn’t look right to me. For an actor of his ilk it can’t be right. The trilby is too jaunty. You can’t be jaunty all the time. If he wore different hats this would at least reveal a playful quality rarely apparent in his mostly ponderous acting. He could wear a fez now and again, or a bowler. We would look forward to his hats. At his death it would be Hat man dies. Hats, in any case, are suspect. They are worn by men unhappy about hair loss or artists (artists in the fine arts). For artists in the fine arts, which includes art teachers, hats, preferably brimmed, represent creativity.  I once saw Daniel Barenboim in a hat on a record cover. This was ill advised. He is a musician not a fine artist though he is and was losing his hair. It made him look like a show-off, which is the last thing you want going through people’s minds when they are listening to him playing Beethoven. Hats are mostly dubious, politically. As a politician, a hat might well cost you your career. There would be speculation. Why does he have a hat? What’s he covering up. In this, it is much like having a personal trainer, a guru or a personal astrologer, though the latter could work in America. You could never trust a politician with a hat. Much like a beard in that respect. Or facial hair in general. Much frowned upon. In deep winter people wear wooley hats to keep them warm as the head is where 80% of the heat goes from. That last fact is nonsense, by the way. Where else would the heat leave from, as it is the only uncovered part of the body? If you pulled your trousers down over your buttocks, 80% of your heat would go from there. Perhaps even more.

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