The message on a teeshirt is never in the slogan. It is in the gap between the slogan and the wearer.

* Do Cool Shit. On a man on his smartphone telling someone to ‘Die of cancer’.

* Manchester Country Club UK. Which Manchester England is this? Not the one I grew up in.

* Besome One. In two words. On an old drunk stuffing his face with a family size pack of crisps.

* Everything happens for a Reason. Much appreciated by middle-class boys on gap years.

* Eat Sleep Rave Repeat. A mother pushing a twin buggy ignoring the crying kids as she blabs on into her mobile.

* A young woman wearing an awful lumberjack style shirt with sleeves coated in glitter. As she sat down next to me she started reading messages on her i-pad. I glanced across. She worked in the fashion industry. Another in the long line of professions where the practitioner is least suited to the job. Add fashion to nutritionits, psychoanalysts, hairdressers.

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