On Harleyford Road, a road that connects Vauxhall to Oval, there is a section of the pavement in front of number 29 where, whenever there is a period of rain, a little stream occurs across the pavement. I like to say it is the stream that comes up from the earth that is the ancient boundary between Vauxhall and Kennington. I have made this up but it is a little lie that I insist on to strangers and one that illuminates my dreary passage down that road which must been the bleakest in christendom. I like to lie. I have for many years maintained to all and sundry that the St George’s complex next to the MI6 building on the south embankment of the Thames is referred to by all the locals as Glory Towers. I like to think I am spreading this untruth around. A little lie can brighten up the world.

When I was a younger man in Paris I used to tell strangers that I was a stuntman specialising in falls. It made for a better conversation than being what I was, a translator or a teacher. Though this, of course, would also be a way of making myself glamorous, an index to the vanity of youth. These days, those illusions are past. My lies are not focused on me but on my environs.

http://www.peoplearerubbish.com

(And apologies to all my readers about this gap in transmissions. I have been preparing the book which will be out in February ‘Monkey Sausage Nose: an antidote to self help’ which is a compendium of curated material from this site plus a few other pieces, all put together in a charming bedside volume. It should be available from Amazon or Waterstones but I would prefer if you contacted me directly on paulbilic2003@yahoo.co.uk for a direct purchase.)