Waiting for another disappointing and cowardly response from someone a few months ago, I posted a note up on my fridge. People are Rubbish. Then I stuck a photo of a white bear next to it, as though he had said these words. People are indeed mostly rubbish. They are rubbish as individuals and as representatives of companies. They are rubbish as lawyers, bankers, estate agents, energy suppliers, lovers, friends, colleagues, parents and children. They tell you they have heard you have been involved in a minor accident when you haven’t; they tell you they have examined your request when they haven’t; they tell you on Facebook they are in the VIP lounge of a New York club when you don’t care; they tell you that your cheque is in the post when…. And when they should tell you something, they don’t. The White Bear would not hesitate to confirm: people are rubbish.
This site responds, in a vague kind of way, to the premise that people are rubbish. It may well be that people turn out not to be rubbish now and again.
For it is not people who are rubbish; it is the contexts they are placed in which force them to behave in a rubbish way.They tell you they have heard you were involved in a minor accident because their living depends on it; they tell you they have examined your request because they have examined many others and work on aggregates; they tell you on Facebook they are ina VIP lounge in a New York club because they know you are a voyeur; they tell you they have sent your cheque in the post because they need to… and when they should tell you something, they don’t, because they understand that words are poor. People are not rubbish.
peoplearerubbish 
Why is it that it’s easy to be rubbish and difficult to not be rubbish? Doing nothing is so very often the easiest way to be rubbish, just bury your head in the sand, we all do it. We have another drink, we turn on the tv, we get back to our book, some of us may sit in the shed! Anything just so we don’t make someone else’s life better. Let’s all be rubbish. Wait we already are. Just look at the world. That’s the result of being rubbish. Ok, this is just another way to be rubbish. Ranting away, instead of getting off my backside and doing someone a favour. But hold on, I’m allowed to be rubbish sometime aren’t I? I can read that book, I can have that drink, I can hide in the shed. Of course I can, just not all the time. As long as we’re aware that ‘People Are Rubbish.com’, then it’s ok. We’re trying to be better than rubbish. It’s a start. All I know is I know nothing, and I’m not even sure of that!
Why don’t people want to talk about what’s really happening in their life? Why the preoccupation to only discuss what they did today, where they’re going at the weekend, what they bought, what they ate, where they ate, what they watched, what they watched after that and what they ate while they watched what they watched after they ate what they watched! Exactly!! It’s mindless nonsense. Social gatherings survive on mindless banality. Ok, it may not be so mindless, it won’t be as ridiculous as the above sentence became, but is it worthwhile? Isn’t it just word-junk? Are not people just opening their mouths like they open their bowels. Everyone’s just letting the crap flow. A group crap as it were. A lovely image, I know -apologies for that- but we’re all in this together, and it isn’t always easy. i.e.life. Let’s get down to what’s really going on . . baby! Let’s get real. Let’s be honest and reveal our feelings, our fears. We’ve all got ’em. Then maybe with a little bit of practice we might just get good at helping each other and my friend just may have chosen not to hang herself earlier this month. This is not written in anger, more exasperation. I understand. But it comes back to ‘PeopleAreRubbish’, and I know they are really not. They’re just maybe frightened to be all they can be. Me too. Oh what do I know, as I said previously, all I know is that I know nothing, and I’m not even sure about that!
So PeopleAreRubbish. And PeopleAreRubbish.com aims to prove that. It’s like a light attracting moths. We’re the moths, wanting to post our thoughts on the bright light. The rabbit in the head lights. We should be laughed at, not for being amusing -and let’s be honest some are really failing, despite an incredible effort to shape their word-junk into something close to a Stephen Fry-like observation on life- no, we should be laughed at simply because we’re pathetic. We’re rubbish and we’re proud. Isn’t that the aim of said web site. Of coarse I don’t think I’m pathetic, that’s for others to think. I’m not being ironic, I don’t try to be. Sarcastic? Just another word. I’m just trying to make sense of what’s right and wrong. And there isn’t. Any sense of what’s right and wrong. Playing with words? You bet! But am I? Maybe this tirade of ‘nonsense’ is in response to the trite I’ve just read. No names, we’re all rubbish. I propose a T-shirt with PeopleAreRubbish.com on the front with ‘So am I’ printed on the back. Let’s laugh at ourselves -and judging by what I have just read (fellow bloggers),no one else will! Ha ha ha. Come on, loosen up. (And you know who I’m talking about, yes you, the one reading this). Let’s rejoice in our rubbishness. Spell check? Ignore it, who cares. No I’m not drunk. No I’m not angry. I’m not even really pathetic. (Well that’s a matter of opinion). But I do care. Too much it would appear. Let’s cut the word-junk. We don’t need it. Got something to say, say it. Cut the crap. So we observe the rubbish, then we ‘report’ it, more rubbish! Stop it. Right now. Let’s cut the Fryisms, let’s not prove that PeopleAreRubbish, let’s prove we’re not. I could apologise here, maybe I’m ranting. Just trying to get a rise out of you. I don’t mean to rally or preach or push or influence. I’m just saddened by word-junk. Bull-shit for the sake of it. I’m just as bad, he says forlornly. But am I? Forlorn or bad? Neither. Not sad either. I understand. It’s a platform. Nothing serious. Be my guest. Maybe Stephen is reading some of these blogs (hello Stephen, nice of you to join us), let’s assume he is. But let’s try to be real. God help us. That’s all we can be ultimately. That’s the true achievement. It’s all an illusion anyway, so let’s break off the shackles that are binding us, let’s be as real as we can be in a world of illusion. What do we know? All together – “Nothing, and we’re not even sure of that”. Ha, I jest. All references to people living or dead is purely coincidental, and no law suits should be written on a postcard and posted with a stamped addressed envelope. Ps Maybe I was being ironic earlier, it was probably something I ate earlier! x
People are not rubbish, it just seems so. It’s the ego that influences so much of the behaviour that gives people a bad rep. It’s been often commented about that over zealous ego, how it gets in the way of quality behaviour. Look at Hitler. For Hitler read almost any ‘successful’ politician. Power hungry from a position of fear. If you have little or no fear could you really be bothered to drum up enough energy to lead a country. To compare a successful politician with say a successful football manager shows a slight difference in attitude. Both could be described as being under pressure to succeed, working in the public eye and with very much an ego drive to lead others. But the comparison in attitude? One, and only one could convince me that he uses that drive because he loves the end product. I’m of course referring to the football manager. For most of them it’s the game, the winning yes, but it’s the game. They love the game. For politicians? Is it love? I don’t think so. They want to make their mark, leave a legacy, make a difference. For some that may be laudable, certainly acceptable, but it’s from a position of fear, not love I would argue. And when that drive, that lust for power is unchecked. Well history records so many men with that make up, not just Hitler. It’s the ego, that’s all. So what is this ego? Why is it there? How can you detect it’s unwelcome influence? The last question is easily answered. It’s where we think people are rubbish. Maybe I’m being a bit simplistic, but generally when someone ‘get’s right up your nose’, it’s their ego that’s getting in the way. Unless of course it’s your ego that’s reacting to someone else’s authentic behaviour! Ha ha Watch that one. We are all of us liable to be tripped up by our own ego. Oh the complexities of being a human!
I’d say that where there’s an over active ego, there is fear. There is usually some ‘hang up’ in close attendance. Hang ups are usually more visible where there is conversation. The more one feels the need to talk, the more likely there’s a hang up behind it. Again simplistic, I know. You could say there is a hang up behind what I’m writing, but I don’t honestly think anyone is reading this – with respect to this web site- I’m just sounding off to unwind before retiring to bed, I don’t even know what I’m writing until it’s written! Ha ha. . . . . .hang ups, the smouldering embers that the over active ego feeds off are very much born of the competitive world. Over time, as we grow, the competitive world influences us, and as we fear, and we all do very much in our childhood, we begin to build that fire within us. It’s our drive. It’ s necessary to survive. We compare ourselves with others, we become competitive. Some more than others, depending on many factors. Such as our environment, parental influence especially. However there is unpredictable factor that can differentiate two similarly raised children: awareness, an innate ability to see beyond what is normally shown to us. Through the years that ability can be lessened and then again awakened. It’s quite ‘normal’. Many people possessing this awareness can find life pretty difficult. Depression, suicide even can be the result of this awareness if it is not understood. And the ego, those smouldering embers within just don’t fire up, the drive just escapes them. We laughingly joke that his get up and go has got up and gone, but it really seems that way. His lack of drive -or her lack, to less of a degree- is seen as a failing in this competitive world. However the drive to compete, originating in childhood, to strive, to achieve, whilst is essential to survive, is an outer strength. By that I mean, it’s usually measured externally. In the extreme it is seen in an unwillingness to accept anything less than what for most seems outlandish luxury and or power, power over others. There’s that politician again! Or maybe just your average pop star or wanabee famous, reality tv star! But remember this external evidence, -and it could be just the way you present yourself, your looks, your hair, your muscles, your suntan, your clothes etc and outwards through your possessions small and large (hope you see the visual I’m trying to describe with respect) – this external evidence is always vulnerable. In it’s purest form, this outer strength can be seen as the body’s we inhabit. They are all prone to fade with age and succumb to sickness. Inner strength, on the other hand, from where the child still resides, is more difficult to obtain but it lasts an eternity. In this competitive world it’s very much cheapened by the drive of our friend the ego. However, as I’ve said, the ego is very much required, it’s essential for the child to survive through adulthood. You could see it, the ego, as the adult. An ‘overcoat’ for the child to wear as protection for him/her on their journey through life. The perception to protect comes from the ego, from fear. To compete is fear based also, undoubtedly from the ego. Our earliest evidence of growth (human if not spiritual) can be seen in a child’s willingness to compete. The birth of the ego? But what is the catalyst, when do we look for that overcoat. Do we choose it for protection, and is our awareness of it’s need the true birth of the ego, or are we first aware of it’s need through fear – surely an adult perspective?- and then we choose to wear it? I can’t answer that one, it would be easier to watch a leaf grow. Ultimately however, if the child can live through adulthood, the coat is discarded, gradually maybe, but it will be left hanging in the hallway, unwanted, unloved but with gratitude. Hopefully stronger, the child knows thyself, he/she knows the overcoat for what it is. Knowing not to revere or denegrade it. Forgiving thyself for the deception. Understanding the ego, letting go of fear, accepting the hang ups. Especially the overcoat in the hallway – hung up at last!
And we all, and I mean all, even the politicians and the football managers and the reality tv wanabee’s, will eventually discard the overcoat, the ego’s fire will die. It may take a while, perhaps a lifetime or two hundred! Who knows. But let’s accept that people are not rubbish. They are just children with oversize overcoats, fearful, clumsy, tripping up on their own failings, looking for protection (outer strength), with a burning fire to get a job done whether they are aware or not of it’s insignificance in the great scheme of things -and I’d suggest they are not aware, they are too concerned that their over coat matches their shoes! I forgive you Adolph, Tony, George, Winston, Saddam et al (But not Bob Paisley, you made my childhood miserable! I’m joking, I forgave you a while back, when I first began to notice the overcoat!) x
A Christmas Message.
Forgive me if you’re rubbish. Listen (read) if you’re not. It’s Christmas morning. And what gifts does it bring. Well, this web site for a start. You see I’m one of the many full time carers that feel happy to dedicate their lives to another. I’ve been told more than once, that it takes a special type of person to take on the commitment, that may be true, but for me it was a no brainer. That was the easy part, deciding to do it, then you find how much you’ve bitten off and there was definitely a whole lot more left to chew than I’d envisaged. Nightmare!! Then you acclimatise to it all. Then you begin to enjoy elements. Then you realise, if you are lucky like me, that this is an experience to savour. Yes, it’s no walk in the park, but it’s not without it’s little unique moments of pure magic. For some full time carers there may be financial reward, sometimes substantial, “well good for you, you deserve it”, you’ve made a sacrifice, you deserve something in return. For me, there is no financial reward but, and excuse the dollop of corn here, there are richer rewards than money. Yes, money would help, it usually eases burdens but if it’s not there what can you do? Put the violins away this is not a plea for sympathy. . . charity? maybe! No I jest. There is no complaint because there is always love. For probably most of us in this situation there is love, and hopefully it is always felt both ways. Yes, this web site is a gift, and I thank you. You see today I decided to share the days Christmas experience, to balance the normal feel of over indulgence, gluttony and avarice. Not to be awarded a medal or anything, or to judge those that have chosen to (over) enjoy themselves. Please enjoy, you may be harming your waist line or your financial position, but it’s yours to ‘harm’. Go ahead and enjoy with Gusto -or whatever his name is ! Just don’t get caught eh?- Please no judgement/no guilt on this special day. And it is special, even if you don’t like the day/season, or understand the ‘spirit of Jesus/Christmas’. It’s there -or here!- whether you like it or not. Personally, some bits are good, other bits horrendous, it’s all down to personal opinion, but let’s not go there. As I said this is intended as an attempt to share a Christmas experience that is mirrored all around the country and no doubt the world. The difficulty in relaying it is that for the full time carer, one’s time is -in my case, if not others- completely determined by who Is being cared for. In my case it’s mother. (I call her mum, but I will use the nomenclature Mother). She is 79 and has Parkinson’s and from over forty years of prescribed medicinal assistance, is a little frayed around the edges! Her behaviour may look a little like dementia but she categorically states she hasn’t got it! I asked her a minute ago, “Do you have dementia?”, ” No, why do you ask?”, “because if you had it, you probably wouldn’t know what it is”. “How do you know if YOU haven’t got it?”. Sometimes her speed of thought knocks me sideways, I’m always laughing as a result (maybe it IS me with dementia?!). Seriously, the laughter is the greatest reward for looking after Mother. This morning her first words were, and remember I’m in my mid fifties, grey hair with a beard ( and no I don’t look like Santa!) and when I say good morning, she says, “No school today?”. She floors me with her first words. Yes it sounds like the cheese has slipped off her cracker, but first thing in the morning at aged 79, how much clarity can you expect?! What amazes me is she CAN speak so clearly, and she KNOWS I’m her son. Ok she ignored the beard, –and I don’t blame her I look a mess. One of the things I’ve learned to live with is that all bathroom visits are determined by Mother’s needs first, my needs come second. Believe me it makes for some interesting moments and not a few desperate dashes!– But I digress, yes it’s the little magic moments that make it all the more worthwhile. I hope all full time carers -and part time carers, for that matter- enjoy a few golden moments, they really do help.
This ‘blog’ ( is that what they call it?) has taken 6 hours so far to write and I’ve not got past the introduction yet, says it all really! I’m assuming I will finish this but I’ve decided to call a halt at this point. I intend to resume later. Thank you once again Peoplearerubbish.com, for this opportunity to write, I had not expected to talk to anyone today -other than mother- and I feel better for sharing what I have shared so far. Will there be further instalments? Well that depends a lot on mother! Happy Christmas x
People are rubbish? I’m not so sure people are people! What are we really? A stack of bones tied together with muscles and tendons, a few carefully placed organs, wrapped in skin and filled with blood? I’m not sure that’s how we view ourselves. Not even the less aware can think that, surely? -Well the less aware don’t think at all, I hear you say. Maybe so, but questioned, would they really only ‘see’ the physical? You see, once you accept that you are more than ‘a stack of bones etc’, once you factor in the feelings, the thoughts, the humour and all the other imponderables, it becomes easier to believe that maybe, just maybe we’re not even physical at all. We just inhabit this ‘jump suit” for the experience of being people. We are something more than human having a human experience. And if we are ‘more’ than human, what are we? There are, of coarse many books written on this theory. Written from different angles, with different agendas. Of coarse there are, they are written by ‘people’. And we all have a different perspective. Isn’t that one of the beauty’s of being human? Well actually, it could be argued, one of the beauty’s of being human is the flagrant disregard of another’s opinion or belief. Isn’t that in itself a ‘different perspective’? The belief that one is the ‘all knowing’ is a ‘perspective’ after all. Look at Hitler, maybe even look at Churchill? I’m not trying to be controversial here, just pointing out that all humans have a perspective honed from their own experiences and the resultant conclusions, unique or ‘bolt on’, fixed or otherwise shape their personalities and thus their words and actions. But in the end, whoever you are, it’s just your perspective, your opinion. That is the beauty of being human. (Well, from my perspective!) So what is this ‘being human’ business?
Ok, so we are not a ‘bag of bones’. We can think and feel and laugh. We are all having a different perspective on life. We can impress our belief on others. And all the time while we are experiencing this being a ‘people’, the entire time we inhabit this ‘jump suit’ of a body, we are in actual fact something more than human. What are we? You tell me.
Really, I’m just passing the time here. It’s snowing outside. I can’t sleep. Had some thoughts. Thought I’d write, see what comes out. Would write further but I’m tiring. However one thing I’m sure of, people are not rubbish. We are anything but. We may not be people, but we’re not rubbish. Although I’m not sure I would hang around too long with most of them! Ha ha
Ps I hope my ‘flagrant disregard of another’s opinion’ comment is understood. While it sickens me sometimes that so many people try and force their own opinion on others, I am reminded that that is only my opinion, and who am I to impress on other’s that that is wrong. We are all unique and all of us have choice what to believe and what not to believe. But what do I know. . . . . .?
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