When you are telling a story to a child of three, the key is to include them in the story. You do not say Humpty Dumpty went down to to the park one day. You say Remember that day when you and me went down to the park with Humpty Dumpty. At first she looks confused. She does not remember that day. But you goad her. You blackmail her with the promise of a great adventure and she says yes. Then you say It was really icy, wasn’t it? And she says yes. She is getting into the spirit of things now. And you say. You told him not to sit on that wall, didn’t you? And she says yes. Because it was icy, you say (reference to the weather of the moment; this is Christmas). and what happened?, you say. Now she has been trained she is ready to spread her wings. He fell off! she yelps. That’s right. You shake your head. He cracked. We called the ambulance. They couldn’t do anything. We called the doctors and nurses. They couldn’t do anything. We called all the king’s horses and all the king’s men. Here she repeats the mantra. They couldn’t do anything. It was just all yellow and white on the grass. Do you remember? She remembers now all right. She has been trained in complicity and deceit. It’s a skill she’ll need. You even pop in a little joke for mummy. You say, We were all upset, weren’t we? because Humpty Dumpty was our friend, wasn’t he? And mummy was going to make a nice omlette for us all for dinner and now she couldn’t. Mummy will have to make us roast pork instead, won’t she? Yes, says the three year old, as mummy slips the joint in the oven.

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